They were hard to love. But you did.
You waited, forgave, adjusted. When things fell apart, a part of you still stayed. Not with them—but with the version of them you wish existed.
Even after the silence, the hurt, the distance… you catch yourself imagining them coming back. Apologizing. Owning it. Telling you they’ve changed. You know what happened. You still hope.
That hope feels comforting. But sometimes it blocks the truth.
The mind doesn’t like loose ends. It wants stories to make sense.
When a relationship ends without closure, your brain fills in the gaps. It creates a version where they come back better, clearer, kinder. Where they finally get it.
This imagined reunion feels soothing. It brings relief from the confusion and pain. You can relax—at least for a moment—because now the story has the ending you wanted all along.
But that version lives in your head, not in real time.
Even a painful bond is still a bond.
Your nervous system remembers what it felt like when things were good. Or when you were needed. That’s why some part of you stays tied to their potential, not their pattern.
You think about what they could become. What they said they’d work on. What the relationship might look like if things were finally balanced.
This fantasy keeps you connected (emotionally, mentally) even if physically they’re gone.
A relationship coach divorce in London can help you break free from the illusion and reconnect with your reality.
Maybe they posted something reflective. Maybe they’re going to therapy. Maybe they just seem quieter, softer, calmer now.
You start building meaning around their actions. You create a version of healing you hope they’re having, even if you haven’t seen it with your own eyes.
And when you do hear from them, you listen carefully for clues. You want to believe. You read between lines, looking for evidence that confirms your hope.
The problem is, real change doesn’t need you to fill in the blanks. It’s visible, consistent, and self-directed.
Hoping they return as a better person feels safe. Because it means you don’t have to grieve what you lost—you just have to wait.
But that waiting keeps you emotionally paused.
You delay the hard parts of healing. You stay in the space between what happened and what might happen. That space becomes your emotional home. And as long as you’re there, you’re not really moving forward.
Even if you’ve blocked them. Even if you’ve started dating again. If that part of you is still watching the door, you’re still in it.
Relationship counseling in London can help you gently close that door and finally step into the next chapter of your life.
It’s not about giving up on people changing. People can and do grow. But your healing can’t depend on that.
You can hope they learn. You can wish them well. But you also need to look at what their actions showed you when it mattered.
Ask yourself:
Those answers shift everything.
Waiting for someone to return better often feels easier than grieving what never was.
In our work, we sit with people through this exact fog—the quiet ache of unfinished hope.
We help them see what’s real, name what’s still stuck, and reclaim the version of themselves that doesn’t need to wait for someone else to catch up.
If you’re in that space now, you’re not alone. And you’re not behind.
Rachanaa Tulsyan is here to guide you through it—with clarity, compassion, and the belief that healing is possible.
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