Healing from a toxic relationship is an intensely personal journey that requires time, patience, and a structured approach to rebuilding emotional strength. Toxic relationships—characterised by manipulation, emotional or physical abuse, and chronic negativity—leave lasting scars that affect self-esteem, trust, and even physical well-being. Rachanaa Tulsyan, a renowned breakup and divorce coach and relationship expert, has developed a step-by-step guide to help individuals recover from the aftermath of such relationships. Her approach empowers survivors to reclaim their emotional strength and create a life filled with self-love and positivity.
Here’s an exploration of Rachanaa Tulsyan’s top strategies for healing from toxic relationships and building emotional strength.
The first step in the healing approach is acceptance—acknowledging that the relationship was harmful and recognising the extent of its impact. Many people struggle with denial, excusing their partner’s behaviour or downplaying the toxicity because they are still emotionally attached. However, true healing cannot begin without facing the reality of the situation.
According to her, this phase is not about blame but about understanding. She emphasises that accepting the past allows individuals to stop revisiting it with regret or anger. Instead of viewing the relationship as a failure, it becomes a learning experience. Acceptance sets the foundation for future growth by clearing the emotional clutter from the past.
One of her primary strategies is to physically and emotionally detoxify your environment. This includes removing or limiting contact with the toxic person, if possible, as well as clearing out reminders—such as photos, gifts, or messages—that can trigger negative emotions. Creating a physical space that reflects positivity and serenity is essential in fostering emotional healing. She also recommends cutting ties with people who are enablers or sympathisers of the toxic individual. Often, mutual friends or family members can unwittingly keep the negative cycle alive by downplaying the abuse or pressuring the victim to “give it another chance”. Detoxifying your environment creates an emotional boundary that safeguards your recovery.
One of the most difficult but necessary steps is practising self-forgiveness. Victims of toxic relationships often harbour guilt and shame, wondering why they stayed for so long or blaming themselves for the abuse. This self-criticism can erode emotional strength and prolong the healing process.
Rachanaa advises survivors to be compassionate towards themselves. She explains that recognising the complexities of manipulation and abuse is essential in letting go of self-blame. Toxic partners often undermine their victims’ sense of reality, making it hard to see the abuse for what it is. Forgiving oneself for any perceived “mistakes” in judgement is an empowering way to start anew.
A key strategy in Rachanaa’s approach is rebuilding self-worth, which is often shattered in toxic relationships. Abusive partners use tactics like gaslighting, belittling, and isolation to strip their victims of confidence. To counter this, she recommends using positive affirmations to reshape negative thought patterns.
Toxic relationships often consume so much emotional energy that personal passions and hobbies fall by the wayside. Rachanaa highlights the importance of rediscovering activities that bring joy and fulfillment as a powerful healing tool.
Whether it’s painting, hiking, dancing, or writing, engaging in activities that spark joy helps survivors reconnect with their authentic selves. She explains that this reconnection is critical in rebuilding emotional strength because it fosters self-identity outside of the relationship. By immersing oneself in hobbies and interests, survivors regain a sense of purpose and belonging that toxic partners may have eroded.
Setting boundaries is a critical skill that often gets weakened in toxic relationships. Abusive partners typically trample over personal boundaries, making it difficult for the victim to assert their needs. Rachanaa emphasises the importance of relearning how to set healthy, non-negotiable boundaries.
Boundaries are essential for emotional strength because they define how much of ourselves we are willing to give to others and how much we need to protect for our own well-being. She advises survivors to start by setting small, manageable boundaries, such as saying “no” to situations that cause discomfort or stepping away from conversations that feel intrusive.
Building and maintaining these boundaries creates a protective emotional barrier that prevents future harm and enables survivors to regain control over their lives.
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