It felt like magic.
They texted every morning. Called every night. Showed up with surprises. Told you things you’d waited years to hear. You believed them. Why wouldn’t you? The connection felt fast, warm, real.
And then something shifted.
They pulled back. Or changed the rules. Or made you feel guilty for needing what they gave so freely in the beginning. Now, you’re left wondering if you imagined the whole thing.
Love-bombing is the rush of attention that feels like closeness but isn’t built on real connection.
It often looks like constant flattery, over-the-top praise, deep talk on day two, and gestures that seem too big, too soon. The pace feels flattering, like they’ve finally found what they were searching for and it’s you.
But love-bombing skips the slow part of getting to know someone. That rush? It’s not bonding. It’s bait.
If you’re untangling the confusion after such a dynamic, working with a certified divorce coach near London can help you rebuild clarity and trust in yourself.
The more you open up, the more they praise you. The more you share, the more they double down on the compliments. You feel seen. Wanted. Chosen.
That reaction keeps you leaning in.
But love-bombers often pay attention to how fast you attach. Once they know you’re emotionally invested, the game shifts. The warmth cools. The rules change. And now, you’re trying to earn back the version of them that showed up at the start.
One of the hardest parts is what happens next.
They start acting distant. Less responsive. More critical. You bring it up, and they call you needy. Overreacting. Too emotional.
You start replaying every message. Wondering what you did wrong. But the truth is, they were never that person to begin with.
They performed the part to pull you in. And once they had your trust, they no longer had to perform.
You were set up to miss them—on purpose.
Letting go feels hard because the beginning felt so good.
You remember how attentive they were. How safe you felt. How quickly things clicked. That part wasn’t fake to you. It mattered.
But what you’re missing might not be them—it might be the feeling you had when they made you feel special.
That longing pulls you back. Not because they changed. But because you want that high again. Your brain doesn’t want to lose the person who made you feel that way.
Working with a post divorce coach in London can help you understand these patterns and begin to heal in a grounded, lasting way.
You keep hoping they’ll go back to who they were in the beginning.
You think, “Maybe if I just give them space.” Or, “Maybe if I stop bringing things up, it’ll go back to how it was.”
That thought keeps you from walking away. It keeps you in the loop of chasing moments that were designed to keep you attached—not respected.
Real love doesn’t vanish when you ask for clarity. Real care doesn’t punish you for having needs.
You tell yourself not to be dramatic. That it was early. That you should be over it by now. But something keeps pulling you back.
That’s not weakness. That’s chemistry.
When someone floods you with attention, then pulls away, your nervous system reacts like something’s been taken. Even when your mind knows better, your body keeps looking for the high.
It doesn’t mean you were naive. It means your hope was used against you.
It’s normal to miss the version of them who showed up first. The one who listened so closely. Who said everything right. That part felt real because it was designed to. But connection built to hook you will never hold you.
Love-bombing leaves more confusion than clarity. It’s hard to trust yourself after something that felt so good turns distant without warning.
That’s a common thread in the work we do. People come in wondering if they overreacted; when really, they were over-targeted.
We help untangle that mess. Not with judgment. With patience. With honesty. With support that helps you return to your own sense of what feels true.
If you’re trying to make sense of what happened, or still checking your phone hoping they’ll shift back into who they were at the start—we’re here. You don’t have to untangle this alone.
Rachanaa Tulsyan, your dedicated breakup and post-divorce coach in London, is here to walk beside you through every step of that healing.
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